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Was woken up by Seth text. he made my day:D

Meet Seth after his training. we went to eat at rasa 21. but i didnt cause already ate at home. so i watch him eat. hahaha. we had ice teh tarik. was the best ever! my fav. and his too.

so then we went to his place cause he wanted to put his floor ball stick at home. really nice home. i was awestruck. was much more nicer then mine luhh. hahaha. saw his photos very funny and very cute. hahahha. see see. I'm starting to laugh again. hahah.

then we went to compassville. nothing much. not that wow. very big. bigger then tampines mall. but still not that wow. then he send me home.

dad brought sisters to swimming, Seth's helping his aunt to move out and me. I'm at home mugging.

sue and Ira will be in KL for their geog trip on the 8,9 and 10 june. wati will be in Laos for her school trip on the 11, 13 and 14 june( i guess ) and me I'll be in pahang with my family on the 9, 10 and 11 june. everyone will be away:(

dance practice will start soon. will be performing for arts fest. this would be my last performance before i have to step down:( im going to miss dance. pratice will be on the 16, 17 & 18 june. rehearsal for arts fest will be on the 25 june. that's fast. we haven't even start on the dance. damn! abg os, will get up to his nerves if we don't get our dance right. he can be pretty scary.

tomorrow's our 2nd love♥
i love you.

Nonaas

you guys have been with me for quite a long time.

and now with wati gone.

it still doesnt make any changes in our friendship. and ainy,

we all are pretty busy and we know you are too.

but we never forget cause you are always included in every of

our conversation about nonaas. now its only me, suhailah and anira.

and in how many months time.

we'll be apart. we'll meet new people.

have knew friends.

who might be even better then us.

but i dont want our friendship to just disappear when everyone has a knew life.

we cant predict what might happened in the future.

but we can still keep our friendship if we are all willing to.

i am.

remember those times when all we did was to bitch around.

the stories we told each other. all the goofey pictures we took.

so much has happen and i dont want any of it to fade.

anira: this few days, you havent been yourself.

some days you are oke.

some days you just give us a moody face.

whats wrong?? it cant be PMS.

this has been going on for about 2 weeks.

and whenever we

ask. you said it was nothing and

your oke.

you were oke yesterday. that is oke.

but today and some other days, your not.

you just kept quite the whole day.

as if we're not even there.

you talk, yes you did. but we can tell.

we know you, quite well. its been years girl.

we can tell. if its something i did or said.

i am sorry. remember, we promised to tell each other.

even if it'll hurt any of us. just tell.

and we are willing to listen.

well i want the the old you back.

this would be the second time i almost fall in a day. wth! i was meeting sue in the morning and was going down the bus, then was walking up the step. thud, i slip one step. how memalukan. i quickly walk as fast as i can. and pretend nothing happen. Hahaha. i get this feeling the people behind me was laughing their ass off. i swear i would kicking their ass if they laugh right to my face.

the second time was on the way home. i was going down the bus. again. and slip another step. but lucky me sue was with me but it still didnt help cause the fact that i almost fell again. i feel like wearing a mask. so people wont know me. i swear my face was going all red.

there were a few ite guys who just wouldn't stop disturbing us. get a life dude! i would want to just turn and kick them in the balls. and it would definitely keep them quiet.

meet mum and aunty min. my little sister was a pain in the neck. all she ever did was showing her tantrum. kick here kick there. shout here, shout there. if she dont get what she wants.
lucky for her im not as bad as other sisters. be lucky. mum told me i was like her when i was little. i guess i know where she gets all her irritating attitude. me.-_-

meeting boyfriend later. and this week havent been the best. so many things happened. not good. 2 more days and hopefully things would be much better.

ily♥

everything seems to be wrong. and I'm at the verge of pulling my hair out from my head. eeeww. nonono.

so i went home straight from school today. cause i was not meeting Seth today. he has training. sat at home the whole day. and got my brain thinking. until my head hurts alot. made myself think so much until i got all unreasonable with Seth. WTH wrong with me today. i guess it was because of all the misses of him.

I'm sorry Seth.

now i feel so horrible and i don't even know if i can face him. can i? i have to sooner or later. for now i'll just gather myself back together. and think sensibly.

Afiq got all goooey today. i really thought it was his taik hidong. he showed it right in front of my face. DISGUSTING LUHH AFIQ! first thing in the morning already made scream.

*SQUEALS*
mom let me use the bill. and now i dont have to think about topping up my ppd. but im still using it, in case my bill goes over the toooop. anw. thanks mummy:D
im a happy goober.

Hafiz cut his hair! im going to punch him and kick him until his hair grows back. hahahah. i sound like a physco. i like his long hair better. and now its mohawk. ppfffffftttt!

i want you to know
that im really sorry for being unreasonable and throw those i dont-mean-it words at you just like that. i guess i was just thinking too much about how much i really miss you. i do understand your tight schedule. but just for today i couldn't control myself and let things out just like that. imyssm! ♥

the pictures taken during the pulau semakau trip. but there's still more.

enjoy people! :D

we had to walk a long road. very hot!

the mangrove plant

a starfish

the other side of the the starfish

its a very good sucker. haha:D

the udang transparent! jakon. hahaha

hairy crab.

the upside down jellyfish

we're the spider conch!♥

im glad everything is fine. meet boyfriend today

*SQUEALS*

i was so looking forward to it.

i've just realise i like looking at him. looking at you
can be my new fav pass time eyy boyfriend.
and he'll say, im just your fav pass time( inside joke)
HAHAHAH
imysm

3 more days to our 2nd, love ♥

and 1month and 23days to love 20th birthday(:

im sorry

i dont tell how i feel staright up or on the spot. i take time

to tell. its just in me.

i gather my feelings and write it somewhere

when i think its time to tell. like this blog. thats why it existed.

i cant tell my feelings

face to face or even on the phone.

maybe thats why when you ask me yesterday why was i angry

and i said i didnt know.

cause yes i didnt know what to say. i didnt know how

i was feeling at that point of time.

i need time to think. im a slow learner and i absorb things

slowly and understand them even slower.

im born this way. and i fucking hate it.

i hate being the last one to understand stuff. maybe thats the reason.

why i fucking flunk my mid-year so badly.

maybe it was better if i've kept those feeling to myself.
i could just cry myself to sleep then starve myself and i'll feel better the next day

or the day after that. i'll be a happy girl by then.

yippy!

rather then i not keep it to myself. cause im going to cry myself and starve ( the same thing )

plus embarrassing myself in front of him. making me feel that im such an

immature girl. and i'll feel this way the rest of my life.

which im going be, starting from errrrm now.

i guess im just too pessimist. yea he already said it. she's just my friend,

girlfriend. why be so angry. i really got that

right to my face. jannah stop being such an idiot. its his friend,

girlfriend. come on, think! who would want to flirt

with your friend gf. got that right.sue was right, i was being pessimist.

i feel like shouting until my lungs comes out.

& that guy at my friendster he's my classmate since sec 1.
goodnight people.

the past has taught me alot.

there's this one point of time when i just couldn't

trust guys. once i use to trust someone so much and in the end

all i get was lies. but now someone have change it all

for me. and that special person is Seth. i really do trust him

and know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me badly. i really hope

this relationship will go one smoothly.

i wish i could tell you I'm feeling better everyday,

but its hard.

sometimes there things that i want you to know

and tell you how i felt. I'm scared. scared that it might hurt you

or what I'm going to say might be unreasonable

or you might just think I'm too childish. i know
this few days i haven't been myself. and the reason i cried

yesterday was not the only reason i told you.

it was also because what

i ask you this morning.

i keep having thoughts, are you trying to get back at me for what

i did the other time. but i already said i was sorry.

i feel so angry, so sad, so hurt. but i guess I'm just too self-centred.

P/s: I'll love you, even if it hurts ( v )

if your trying to get back at me, FINE! i'll just play along.

the weekend was pretty awesome.

on saturday, went to esplanade to watch gentarasa.

was pretty draggy but was oke. there was also other schools.

me and anira couldtn stop bitching about them. hahaha.

well we're girls and girls just cant stop bitching. after the show,

we went to marina square to get something to eat.

before i went to orchard on my own to meet my family and cousin at royal hotel.

we had a buffet there and celebrated my uncle's birthday as well.

on sunday, i went to pulau semakau with school.

a really interesting outing. but we had to meet out school at 5.30 in the morning.

it was a 30min trip from singapore to pulau semakau.

we had to work a long road before reaching to our destination.

was really hot. so farid open an umbrella and shared with me and acap with me fanning the

3 of us while walking. haahah. funny moments.

when we reach there we had to walk trough a forest and there was like alot of mosquito.

there were interesting marine life there. there were starfish a VERY big one,

fishes and sotong! the water cover almost half of out feet.

couldn't see what we were stepping. farid and acap became my guide.

hahah. jadi tongkat aku eyy krg.

overall the weekend was great.

today was my malay O's.

Paper 1 was oke and paper 2 was quite easy for me.

after each paper i have this feeling that i did pretty well and felt great.

well the feeling of happy was only for a short while.

something happened and i feel really fucked up about it.

plus a cousin of mine so kpo and fuck who cares, its not like i always see you.

and your no one to tell me what i should do.

so fucked off. dont try to be nice when all you do is bitch about people.

i really dont have the mood to go tuition. fuck the teacher. i just

dont feel like going.

today was better then yesterday, much better i say. surprisingly i wasn't that tired and did my malay paper 1 smoothly. i feel like a part of me was missing today.

i guess its because boyfriend didn't msg me that much today.

class was really great today. very funny. laugh till my stomach hurts.

they're a great bunch of people to be with, trust me. when it comes to

joking around they're the best. even tough they can really be

abit irritating at times.

really had a bad tummy ach after chemistry period. and it didnt stop till

now. tummy get better!

i had peach milk ice blended today; yummy!

i never really had someone like him. yesterday i was stress up with my

coursework and almost broke down. he was there.

helping me in every little bit he could. i was really touch to see how sincere he was

and how much he really cared about me. people would always say that your diff from other

guys and dont really mean it and just said it for the

sake of just saying it. but this time its really real i'm not kidding or trying to kid.

but its true he is different, very different from any guy i've known.

and for that i've fallen much more for him(:

PS: Dear thanks soooo much for helping me out yesterday, ily(:

i cant take this level of stress.

i've been sitting infront of my laptop for almost 3 fucking hours.

and all i did was just 1 recipe and a tinsy winsy result which doesnt even make any sense.

i'm not myself and im fucking too sensitive.

cause i feel like crying for no fucking reason.

i need someone with me now and i feel like breaking down!

urrggghhhh!

im going to bed. i have enoug of this shits today. i'll continue tmr. hopefully.

i woke up in the morning and was still tired. due to the lack of rest that i have not been getting. i'll reach home by 6.30 and by then my brain is too saturated to study and i'll be really really shagged by then. with the humid classroom. i can almost suffocate in there. i was like arrgghh get me outta here! i think i can vomit malay papers at the end of this intensive or maybe dream about it in my dreams.

the very first thing that made my day was bumping into ainy in the morning. just after i got down the bus i saw her. i ran to her and hug her really tight. damn! how i missed her. so today is the day where i get to meet boyfriend. i was looking forward to seeing him since the time i woke up this very morning. counting to moment where i get to see him and have him by my side. i was really shagged when i met him and was abit cranky. i was too sensitive and i didn't talk much. sorry boyfriend. and one thing i like about having him by my side is that. he always always give me surprise kisses. dang! see i miss him already. wont be able to see him tmr, he's having fb. hopefully i can see him on Friday.

should be doing my coursework. I'm stuck at development, still haven't finish my survey and result. I'm so far behind. and teacher asking for DM and planning. i haven't even start.

ppppffffttt!

i need boyfriend now and I'm missing him badly. every time when I'm with him 1 hr seem

like a minute. ouh ouh boyfriend just msg. *sigh* ily dear!

feel like hitting the sack now, but i cant. i still have to finish up my coursework and my brain cells are so weak. eyes eyes please stay awake,

i need to get this done and brain brain please work. don't bring me down at a time like this.

i'm shagged really really shagged. school was long, longer then i imagined. well i just need to endure this for two more days. i keep telling myself, after this im going to get A for my malay and thats it. all this suffering will go to an end. i need my rest and i need my eyes to rest.

the surrounding in class was really sucky. there were moments when the class is cool and another where it gets really hot and you'll start sweating and you wont be able to concentrate doing your papers. i have to start my momentum if not i'll be left behind. haven't touch my coursework in awhile. im feel really guilty. there's still soooo much to do and i havent even do my errrr see i can even forget what i was suppose to do. panic!

i dont think i even have time to even think about socializing, like no life right.

well thats what you get when your doing O's. i really want to get in poly and just prove to my parents that im way better then they think i am. i'll do well. hopefully.

i've started worrying, but no action is being done. how pathetic janaa. wake up!

i rindu you jgk boyfriend(:

i dont do revenge

& if your someone who does revenge

you can just get out of my fucking life

its just stupid getting back on the person

when will the problem end.

i had enough of this shit for several years

and i dont intend to tackle with this shit again.

hello humans. today is sunday. yay! so woke up and send my sisters to andalus. the house was in a mess. so i clean everything up. then i got ready to meet boyfie. was suppose to meet at 12 but he has to wait for his dad. so we met at 12.30 instead. he came and fetch me from my place. we were suppose to go to bugis. some how we lost our way. cause it was his first time going there by bike. hahha. funny moments. and im not so sure with the roads. so we end up going round and round. then we end up at esplanade. so we watch the movie at marina square instead. bought the tix and he paid half for me. thanks dear(: the movie started at 2.55pm. and it was 2pm that time. we had 1 hr. we went around looking for his brother birthday present. which is tmr. happy birthday in advance seth brother! wait i forgot to say what we were watching. we watched what happens in vegas. the movie was effing great. was worth it. especially the last part. i really had a great time. but it was just for awhile, cause he had to go to the airport to celebrate his brother birthday. happy moments was for awhile. he really look great today. made me go awww, aint my boyfriend hot. hopefully i can meet him tmr. miss him already:(

ily boyfriend!

taken before the movie

hello humans. The whole week, next week i'll be dead busy. having malay intensive programme. cause Malay O's is coming. 10 more days to be exact. am i ready?? not so sure. this will be my 3rd time taking it. i really need to get A2 for malay and i will have 1 less subject to worry about. here's the schedule;

tuesday morning: 830-1030 am; paper 1
1030-1100am; rest time
1100-1230pm; paper2
1230-300pm; normal lesson[ guess so ]
300-400pm; discussion
400-500pm; short paper

same goes to wed and thursday.

friday morning: come at 900-1000[ dont know do what]

the week after next week will be the start of june infocus for 2 weeks. i really have to start doing my revision, if not i can just kiss my dream of going to poly. And boyfriend will be helping me with math. thanks dear(:

tmr going east cost for some carnival. i still havent decide what to wear.

im looking forward to sunday to spend my day with him:D

ily dear!

hello humans. Each to his/her own dreams. And mine is to be a pro acoustic guitarist. i know mcm paham right. but some how since the very first time i played the guitar ive got this feeling that my dream will only be just a dream. i know, people always say if you really want it you have to really WANT it and go all out for it. but with my tight schedule and stuff. i dont really have time for it. but i never fail to play my guitar every single day. for now i'll put my focus on my O's and get it done. 4 more month to go minus the jun holidays. i cant believe i only have 4 more months to go. panic!

ive got back the results for MYE. wait! before i tell you about my results. let me tell you what happen during assembly just now. everyone was sitting at their own classes waiting for the rest to come. the funny thing that happen was, this sec 1 guy just started shouting for no particular reason. he stop and shouted again. HAHAHAH. i guess he got scared to get his results. HAHAHA. lets get back to my results. i flunk all my subjects. oke im exaggerating. i pass chem like for the first time *putting my hands up and start to jump* but total up for science i fail. biology was hard. and the funny part about biology is that, our teacher told us what ridicules ans we wrote. zamir wrote, the question was what kinda of fruit seeds is dispers by wind and he wrote papaya. HAHAHAHA. how can papaya seeds be dispers by wind. then qaiyum said, you need tsunami uhh like that. HAHAH. funny seyh. math was rather disappointing, guess what, the only person who pass was anira and she got only 50/100. how pathetic. *sigh*

when school started, almost all my friends was talking about mother's day. and what present they bought for their mum and stuff. but i didnt get anything for mum. but i do love my mum yes i do, a hell lot. mum and i dont really talk alot and i dont really share much stuff with her. sometimes when i listen to my friends and how close they are with their mums. i just wish me and my mum was like that. isnt it just wonderful to have a mother and daughter bonding. i know my mum have alot of stuff to worry about, with my sisters and stuff at home. i dont know how to really say it, but im really thankful for what she have done for us, even though we can sometimes give her alot of trouble. especially me, ive disappoint her and ive not been a really good daughter. ive dont alot of mistake and have really hurt her alot. i really dont mean it but im just a teenager who still have alot more to learn. i just cant see her get hurt and im trying my best to not hurt her anymore. i feel like crying while typing this post. *sobs* *sobs*

boyfriend got pist with me. it was my fault. i really miss him alot. we didnt talk much and only get to meet him for awhile yesterday. when everything seems to go smoothly there's always a part where everything turns sour and we jut dont talk or sms. like yesterday and today. i feel like im being such a bad girlfriend. well at least he's oke now and hopefully things will get better. i'll pray hard. *close eyes*

p/s: seth dear i really miss you alot. and please stay close, dont go. ily!

Hello humans. you guys might be wondering what am i doing so early in the morning right. good question. i slept at 1 in the morning. should be getting my beauty sleep. but something happen between cousin, me as seth yesterday night. was not a big deal actually. seth called at 9 plus and told me what happen. will be meeting cousin later and hear her side of the story. hopefully things doesnt get any worst. i cant get back to sleep. argh! mate lagi kecik luhh niari. meeting the ladies at around 2pm. and i want strawberry milk tea.

i miss boyfriend.

hello humans. so today didnt turn out that boring. cause sue came over. did alot of blogging and friendstering. yea yea girls will never fail to gossip right. so we had fun gossiping and then camwhore. this is the funny part we decide to dress each other up and see who is better. well of course sue, mine is the BEST right. very classical. hahaha. and i dont know what my room turn into. so she stayed till about 7.30. she was suppose to meet hafiz at 6 but he got caught up with something. send her to tampines mart and i also needed to buy something there. then i decide to wait with her and i brought my lil sis along. so it was fine. hafiz came about 8 plus. then off i went home with my sis.

my bed so messy

and didnt talk to boyfriend that much today miss him loads. can i have him beside me now.

Hello humans. no school today and tomorrow. i don't have any papers today and tomorrow its marking day. so I'll just stay home and relax. i wish could, relax i mean. so hard to be this few days. been so worried for O's. i know i shouldn't be too worried its just after mye. but i just cant help it. if you get wat i mean. no plans today. so i guess i'll just stay home and slack or maybe just do a tinsy winsy revision. i was awestruck by boyfriend latest post. made me go awwwww. and someones girlfriend added me on friendster. i wonder why. hopefully today wont get any boring as it already did. watched alvin and the chipmunk and hairspray. its getting boring. HELP! its the invasion of the boring-ness.

p/s: i miss seth frampton and my Nonaas

listening to: thats when i love - aslyn

somehow this song shows how much i really love him ( v )

hello humans. woke up really early today but no school. why?? no idea.so woke up and help mum with the laundry. at around 12 plus sue came over and we went to tamp west cc together. she needed company to do her art. after a few minutes boyfriend called and ask me to company him to pay his bike installment. and something happen. don't want to elaborate on that. cause it was scary. luckily nothing serious happen. so went back to mac to meet sue, ayu and suhaylah was there too. told them what happen and they were like omg are you oke. i told them i was fine. so after a few minutes i decide to go home. cause i had tuition. but i didnt go, i just finish my mye and i just couldnt sit in class and do comprehension. So me and boyfriend went to the beach. was very relaxing, i really needed that.

every single time when i look at him, somehow i always say this to myself. is he really my boyfriend. its like i cnt believe he's my MY BOYFRIEND. and i would ans back saying, yes he is the boyfriend whom i loooooovvvvvvveeeee alot. i'm really glad ive met him and now his my world.

p/s: i love you boyfriend.

hello humans. the start of the day already suck. oke every Sunday morning sucks. had to wake up at 9 to send my sisters to madrasah. my parents went to class every sunday morning. so me as the big sister i have to send them. the part which i hate the most is getting them to bath. i dont know why its so hard for them to bath. if dont want to bath nevermind. can just go madrasah like that. had to scream my lungs out before they listen to me. even as a big sister they dont want to listen to me. whats else could i do. at last by ten they were ready and off they go.

in the evening we went to my grandparents place. my dad side. had mother's day celebration. everyone brought food. so it means i ate alot. hahas. not that much luhh. well my tummy dah boncet. there was spaghetti, pizza, fried rice, cocktail, yogurt and some other stuff. too many to mention. my dad only have 5 siblings. so not that many right. thats what you guys think. but my grandparents place very small. so we all have to like squeeze in. hahas. we watch a movie CUCI, very funny! really had a great laugh with my cousins. my mum brought 5 presents. so we had a lucky draw for the mums. each went home with a prize. cool!

yay! tmr im meeting boyfriend and sue ask me to chill with her at the cc.

yesterday didnt turn out the way we wanted.

was suppose to watch a free movie at marina square

but turn out the tix finished.

so dad decide to bring us to Bik som place.

havent seen syafiq for a long time and now he's already in primary 3.

soooooooo cute.

he didnt change abit still very funny. ask him to take picture with me.

he grab me by the neck and gave me a big slurpy kiss.

eeeeeeeewwwwww

so here are some of the pictures taken yesterday.

see see. hahahas

otw to bik som place

at brickswork buying food. ( i think thats how it should be spell )

i miss boyfriend

my blogs plain and theres nothing much,

would be updating soon.

p/s: boyfriend i love you alot.

today was my last paper ; math paper 1
the paper was damn easy luhh. But I couldn’t do it cause my mind was somewhere else.
I KNOW i shouldn’t be thinking about it.
Im soo going to flunk mid-year badly.
Enough of exams im done with mine and now waiting for prelims and O’s.
So not looking forward.

Haven’t been in the mood for some days. I cant explain it. Cause of this stupid mood swings, boyfriend and me had a misunderstanding. Fucking shit. I know I cant blame it all on pms. And I know partly its my fault. I guess I was just worried for him. He Almost got hit by a car twice. Please seth ride carefully. Im just too worried for him and now my brain cells are dead. I need to get some sleep. My eyes are getting smaller.

I’m really glad that everything is fine now. Its so sucky when we fight.

Girlfriend: anira im sorry. Somehow I know that your not oke. Haven’t been talking to you that much and ive realize that ive been talking to sue a lot. Its not that I didn’t want to tell you whats happening. But its just that I don’t want you to worry so much about me. When you and your bf are not really in good terms.

I think today I’ll just stay home and sleep. But dad’s bring us out to eat for lunch. I guess I’ll just follow, plus im getting hungry now. Mum said tmr we’re going to watch a movie at marina square.

Wouldn’t be able to meet boyfriend. Im going to miss him.

had chem/bio paper 1 and f&n

chem/bio paper = was oke i guess. it was multiple choice. finish it quickly and i slept

f&n = i think im going to flunk it really badly. didnt do some of the question. i didnt know where my brain went to. i guess it decide to shut down after seeing the question =__="

boyfriend sms me something that made me go awwww

To my dear.

sorry if this is too emo.

everytime your far.

your near to me.

when i close my eyes.

its you i see.

and at the moment my.

my heart misses you so much.

and if i should die before i sleep.

its because you took my breath away.

i love you, always had

-seth

p/s: dear its not emo. its just soooooo sweet. i love you baby:D

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